Thomas DeFrank (Newsweek's senior White House correspondent for a quarter century, covering eight Presidents and 12 Presidential campaigns) wrote a biography of President Ford titled “Write It When I'm Gone.” It is a unique behind-the-scenes look at a Presidential campaign and the life of a president when he leaves the Oval Office. The title comes from a statement made by President Ford when DeFrank asked if he could write about a particular aspect of his Presidency. President Ford permitted him to do so but told him he could only write it after he was gone. 

If one were ever to write a book about my life and the behind-the-scene episodes, I’m sure that is precisely what I would want the title to be. I might actually ask them to title it “Way after I’m gone!” I have made many mistakes, and I’m sure I will make many more.  

The lives of many Old Testament characters are no different. Just imagine being born into the family tree of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob! Many passages in Genesis cause us to shake our heads, gulp, and even blush at times. If they only knew people would be reading about their crazy lives for thousands of years after they were gone, they might have done things differently.

If blame is to be given to anyone for these family problems, it should be Adam and Eve.  It all started in the garden. Here are two perfect beings who totally messed up, all the while standing in literal heaven on earth and enjoying everything there is to enjoy in a sinless marriage. Can you imagine?!? My wife can but for the rest of you…How could this happen in such a paradise? Yeah, you guessed it, sin.  

Yet, it is not the sin or even the serpent that causes me the most frustration in this story; it is the SILENCE. Adam stood there the whole time, silent. He silently watched this scenario play out. His silence was deafening. He stood back, observed Eve being lured in by the Serpent, and said nothing! He chose not to speak.  His silence led to the messes we read about in the Bible and live out in our families today.  Messes that could continue for generations even after we are gone, because of silence.  

I get it. We all do. Since the days of creation, we have adapted to the genes of our ancestor, Adam. We would rather remain silent than potentially upset someone. We would rather remain silent than deal with our children or students' attitudes. We remain silent when we know there is sin in the camp that needs to be addressed.  We would rather deal with potential consequences than the present problems.  

Why?

I believe we tend to remain silent because…

1. We feel guilt that it is somehow our fault.

“Had I been around more when they were younger, they wouldn’t be this way.” “Had I not been fired from my job, my wife wouldn’t have to run up these credit card debts.” “If I had been more attentive when the kids were younger, I am sure they would be better behaved today.”  We take the blame for how things are instead of leading in the way they should be. It is time to stop looking in the rearview mirror and start focusing on where you need to lead! 

2. We feel inadequate to say anything.

“I am not a pastor.” “I don’t know much of the Bible.” “My kids know more Bible than I ever will.” “My wife is much more spiritual than I am.” Despite who you think you are, God has ordained you as the parent in your home. It is not easy. You will make mistakes. Even still, God promises to give you the wisdom to do this if you ask (James 1:5). God has put you where you are, blessed you with the children or students you have, and promises to give you the strength needed.  You are as adequate as you ever will be in Christ!  “Faithful is He who calls you, who also will do it” (I Thess. 5:24).  

3. Calm seas are better than treacherous waves. 

“I just want to enjoy my night.” “If I say something, it will ruin our weekend.” “I know he is mad, but he will eventually get over it.” “I know that Jamie is starting trouble, but if I say something, others will start talking!” The waves will come regardless, but turning your back to the sea is never safe! Face the waves! Hit the situation head-on. The longer it has to swell, the greater the damage will be. 

Speak up! Be the person God has called you to be. Take the lead! May we no longer be accused of watching as others fall around us!  I hope those who come after us will be pleased to write our story, and not feel they will need to wait until after we are gone.