I hate chess! I know that might be offensive to some of you, but I have never had the patience to sit indefinitely just to eventually lose. Now, taking 3 to 4 hours to run a marathon—that’s different! At least I’m making progress! And while I could compare parenting to running a marathon (it’s exhausting, for one), I think parenting is much more like chess.

Parenting, like chess, is a game of strategy, patience, and sacrifice. It’s not about winning every small battle but about positioning your children for long-term success. Every move we make as parents—whether it’s discipline, encouragement, or letting go—shapes their future. As parents, we need to keep the end game in mind as we make each move. There is very little room for error.

1. The Pieces on the Board

In chess, each piece has a unique function, just as each child has their own strengths and challenges. Some children are like knights—they are all over the place and at times unpredictable. Others are like rooks—straightforward and steady staying in their lane. As parents, we MUST learn to play to their strengths while guiding them through weaknesses.

That’s why Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “Train up a child in the way he should go.” This isn’t just about taking them to church every Sunday—it’s about guiding them in the direction that fits how God has wired them.

2. Sacrifices Are Necessary

There are moments in parenting when we must “lose a piece” to gain something greater. Maybe it’s allowing a child to struggle so they learn resilience. Perhaps it’s stepping back from control so they develop independence. It could be allowing them to take a few steps forward while knowing you will be bringing them back. As parents, we CANNOT continue to hold on.

Hamor tried to hold on too tightly to his son Shechem, and it ended in disaster (Gen. 34). Some battles are best fought by letting go.

I remember on one occasion one of my kids said, “Dad, tell me what to do.” I replied, “I can’t, but your Father in heaven can.” I then told them to pray about it, search the Scriptures, and then I would follow up to see what God was leading them to do. These sacrifices are not losses; they are strategic moves toward maturity.

3. Thinking Three Moves Ahead

Great chess players don’t react—they anticipate. Parenting is the same. We must think beyond the immediate (what to do with schooling, which youth group, certain relationships, ministry opportunities) and ask, *What will this teach them? How will this shape their future?

For instance, our kids have attended teen camp since they can remember. As sponsors, we just took them with us. Would it have been easier to leave them with grandparents? Yes! But thinking long-term we wanted them to be around this type of atmosphere and preaching even at an early age. Now my oldest has spent every summer working in camp ministry and her brother wants to do the same.

The little decisions we make now shape their trajectory more than we realize.

It’s about keeping the long-term goal in mind—raising children who can stand on their own, make wise choices, and carry the values we’ve intentionally instilled in them.

4. The Endgame: Raising Adults, Not Just Kids

Chess isn’t about keeping every piece; it’s about protecting the king. Likewise, parenting isn’t about keeping our children under our control forever; it’s about preparing them for life. When they leave our home, they begin playing their own game and won’t need us to move their pieces for them, nor should we try. If we’ve played the game well, they’ll know how to navigate life’s challenges with wisdom and confidence.

Conclusion: The Legacy We Leave

The best chess players don’t win because they control every piece—they win because they anticipate each move and play with a vision of the end in sight. Parenting, like chess, isn’t about playing a perfect game—it’s about playing wisely, with the end in mind. Stay the course, trust God, and one day, you’ll see the fruits of the strategy you’ve invested in.