My late father-in-law, Vernon Hammond, a dedicated Christian educator for over forty years, used to say, "This too is education," in response to someone declaring that an activity of the school was interfering with the education and learning atmosphere. When rehearsals for Christmas programs or setting up for a banquet pulled students from class, parents and teachers would complain about lost class time. Parents usually played the "tuition card" by stating they were not paying for their son or daughter to set up tables, carry chairs, etc. The same conclusions were levied toward the athletic program. These well-meaning parents and teachers did not understand that activities, athletics, and events are a classroom, too. As Christian educators, we have the unique opportunity to shape not just academic knowledge, but also character and values in our students.

When I first became an Administrator, I thought I had arrived. My expectations were high—and a bit ill-founded. I reasoned, I am the boss, and everyone will bow down and follow my lead to the greatest detail and beyond. I set myself up for an eventual rude awakening. The first few months were amazing. Being able to use God-given talents, wisdom, experience, and abilities to lead staff, students, and parents in a Christian environment was everything I had hoped it would be.

But then, the honeymoon was over.

The newness had worn off. Mistakes and a lack of understanding were forgivable for the first few months. After all, everyone concluded that he doesn't know any difference; we will let him get his feet planted. Then, the first angry parents call came in. Even in the ministry, you will deal with people with problems and problem people. We must admit that this, too, is education! I'm sure many of you can relate to this experience.

Most Christian education is very positive and rewarding. Dealing with problems is inevitable. They are part of life. Being a problem-solver is a primary responsibility of every leader. A lot of time is dedicated to putting out fires. But remember, learning to deal with problems is also education. Each challenge we face is an opportunity for growth and learning, both for ourselves and for those we lead.

In the first century, Paul sought to teach Timothy how to deal with problem people. This passage is pragmatic. I wish I understood this when I first took the reins of leadership.

2 Tim. 2:24-26

24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,

25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

Be kind, even to the unkind!

Paul began by saying, "The servant of the Lord." We are servants of the greatest Servant who ever walked the earth. In John 13, Jesus gave the example of servanthood by washing dirty feet. We should remember that not everyone will appreciate what we do or be on board with our decisions. We will have to deal with dirty-feet attitudes. This, too, is education!

He then instructs that the servant 'must not strive.' That phrase means not to go looking for a fight, to be purposefully confrontational. I have been in ministries that were characterized by controversy. In a previous school, one student even said, "If there's not a stink in the air, someone will stir one up." Romans 12:18 says, "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."

That does not mean we should avoid necessary confrontations; it simply refers to how we should approach them. Every leader experience unannounced, unscheduled, and irrational confrontation. Many times, we do not have the luxury of time to meditate and formulate our response, so it is important to practice keeping our hearts clean and in tune with the Lord constantly and consistently. We should also remember that even if we are caught off guard, God is not surprised. This, too, is education!

Paul goes on to instruct Timothy to be gentle, apt to teach, and patient. Firstly, Paul admonishes Timothy to show kindness (gentle). Kindness is based on consideration. We must consider seeing things from someone else's perspective. The word perspective means to see through. Unfortunately, for most people, their perspective is reality. Some days, we catch the brunt of a person's difficult day at work, and they take the opportunity to "let us know how they feel." We have all done this. Before we respond harshly or defensively, consider what might be going on in the lives of others. After all, isn't this how we wish others would view us when we're struggling? Do unto others the way you would have others do to you (the Golden Rule). Let this inspire you to always choose kindness in your interactions.  

Being apt to teach speaks of skill. Seek ways to guide necessary understanding around another person's mental roadblocks skillfully. There are very few, if any, cookie-cutter formulas for dealing with problem people. Each situation is unique because people are not all the same. As a parent of two, I quickly learned this after our second was born. What worked with one was not guaranteed to be effective with the other. This requires work, thoughtful evaluation, and prayer. "The heart of the righteous studieth to answer but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things" (Prov. 15:18).

Most of the time, folks do not respond to our counsel right away. There must be a time of defusing and decompression when the emotional fervor has to settle down before logic, rationality, and reason can prevail. Let us propose to allow God to use us to make a difference through our patience. God accepts us for who we are, and we should mirror that toward those He will enable us to serve. This, too, is education!

Patience and understanding are key virtues in dealing with problem people. By demonstrating these qualities, we not only diffuse tense situations but also foster a culture of empathy and tolerance in our educational community.

Build up rather than tear down.

In verse 25, Paul continues this lesson by saying, "in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves…."  How do people oppose themselves? We must allow God to protect our reputation. This verse identifies those who would set themselves in opposition to others or their decisions. One of the most challenging battles is not becoming defensive and harming relationships.   Instead, we should build clarification and understanding. We must ever keep in mind that God's glory is at stake. Rom. 8:28 states everything is for our good and God's glory. We should not enter a problematic situation with a chip on our shoulder. A stubborn superiority attitude is destructive. Humility and meekness are the only constructive methods of dealing with individuals who stand in opposition. Proverbs 15:1: "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger; the tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness." This, too, is education!

Recognize who the real enemy is.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I don't believe that people or the government are plotting to get us, but I do think that a conspiracy exists, and the master conspirator is Satan. 1 Peter 5:8 identifies the Devil as "a roaring lion, walking about seeking whom he may devour." People can unknowingly and innocently be a part of the Devil's conspiracy to overturn the work of God through gossip and complaining. The real enemy is not people but Satan.

In verse 26, Paul clarifies to Timothy that those who are difficult, even subversive, are actually in the trap of the Devil. He states, "…that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will." Notice that in this lesson,

Paul indicates that Timothy holds the key to releasing them from the trap and their captivity. We, too, must realize that in the providence of God, nothing is a mistake, coincidental, or circumstantial. It is all in His will. Recognize that God has placed you or allowed you to be where you are right now for reasons perhaps only He knows. In this passage, Paul reveals to Timothy that God has provided a Biblical solution through one of His chosen servants (Timothy) to assist another person toward an honorable resolution. Understanding this principle keeps the situation in proper perspective; it is not about you or me but about God. This is not a guarantee; some will respond immediately. Most will not but don't give up. This, too, is education!

Never put a period where God puts a comma!

When I coached soccer, I told my team, "It's always too soon to quit." I have thought about quitting a thousand times if you are like me. I have walked away fuming, declaring that I didn't deserve a tongue-lashing lecture, personal attack, or second-guessing my decisions. Even though difficult people are a part of life, we should not close the door to them.

When I taught in NC, I had a student who got angry and became disrespectful when confronted with forging his father's signature on a permission slip. He quit school! Exiting the building, he exclaimed an explicative and a few spiteful phrases. He squealed his tires and sped off, never to be seen again. The easy thing and human thing to do was to write him off.

Chris had many redeeming values. He had a difficult home life and struggled with authority. He worked in a local department store, and every time I saw him there, I tried to be as kind as I could be. Most of the time, his response was to ignore me or literally flip me off.

Ten years passed, and after graduating from high school, Chris rededicated his life to the Lord at a Christian camp. Chris went to a Bible college in Florida. While there, he surrendered his life to the Lord to be a teacher and Youth Director. At that time, my wife and I lived in Lakeland, Florida, where we taught at a local Christian School. One day, I got a call from Chris. He asked if he could come over and see us. We met in our living room; he began apologizing and asking for forgiveness for his rage and rebellion back in high school. He told me that he had already asked God to forgive him, but the Holy Spirit would not allow him to be an effective teacher, coach, or Youth Director while he carried this heaviness in his heart. Of course, I forgave him; I had forgiven him long before he ever asked for it. I had forgotten it, but God had not, and Chris had a lesson to learn. God rescued him from the snare and entrapment of the devil. This, too, is education!

PBPWMGINFWMY

That's not a typo, nor did my cat walk across the keyboard. After graduating high school, I attended a seminar called The Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts in Charlotte, NC. I don't remember much of that time, but we were given a little lapel pin with the letters PBPWMGINFWMY at the end of the week-long seminar. The letters stood for 

Please Be Patient With Me, God Is Not Finished With Me Yet.

We should all practice this as we face people with problems and problem people.

Remember, the next time (and there will be a next time), when you get that angry person who has set themselves in opposition toward you, God never crosses our paths without purpose or plan. This, too, is education.